Fly the friendly skies
In sweatpants and pajamas
No need to shower
Digital natives
Can barely write a sentence
Orwell was prescient
Uptalk and Snapchat
Millennials ascendant
We're in, like, deep shit
Do not dare offend
Abnegate the obvious
See the elephant?
Haggard, embittered
Desk drones keep checking the clock
Who microwaved fish?
P.C. police probe
Non-conformers shall repent
For brazen thoughtcrime
Legions of wage slaves
Hasten to their drudgery
Hissing tires, pre-dawn
Throngs of rapt nitwits
Clamor for benediction
From a communist
Caffeine-fueled claptrap
Bureaucrats bloviating
The meeting drags on
A clot of cretins
Squabbling over cigarettes
Travis Tritt twangin'
A crowded subway
Is there a more perfect place
For the nail clipper?
The gruesome tableau
Of air travel in August
Muffin tops abound
Friday night downtown
Rutting meatheads grunt and preen
More tequila shots
The great Dumbing Down
Turns us into clueless clowns
There's an app for that
Our managed decline
Continues unabated
Third World, here we come
Bleak suburbia
A soul-crushing miasma
Of averageness
I'm willing to bet
You've never heard of Euclid
Eat your Taco Bell
A stupid nation
Gorges on mind-rotting fluff
Call her Caitlyn now
Venti soy three-pump
Caramel macchiato
Light whip, three Splendas
Saturday morning
Loading the Windstar with mulch
Grand plans, forsaken
Waiting room TV
Idiots hoot at drivel
The coffee is stale
A physique destroyed
By pregnancies and French fries
The sweatpants don't help
Bombastic blowhards
Spewing a torrent of bilge
Another meeting
Witless sack of meat
You'd be a Delta-minus
In Huxley's novel
Your kids will grow up
To be mediocre slobs
Just like their parents
Attempting to drive
While eating a burrito
You slovenly oaf
You'll rise no further
Than assistant manager
Of the Mattress King
Dim-bulb delinquent
Mommy must have hit the booze
During gestation
Faculty meeting
A hideous panoply
Of middle-age rot
Ill-advised tattoo
Splashed across a flabby arm
Black beans or pinto?
The world aches to learn
What your brats ate for breakfast
Update your status
Holiest of days
In this nation of cretins
The fulsome circus
The yearly orgy
Of moronic non-culture
America rapt
The world does not need
Any more mindless food tubes
Stop reproducing
Frantic dolts panic
White crystals fall from the sky
The world is ending
Bewildered buffoons
Eking out their pointless lives
Local news at ten
