Bleak, freezing, sunless
The Yuletide is upon us
Does it have a chip?

Trashcans at the curb
Stuffed with the sad detritus
Of small meager lives

A truck's ground clearance
Is not an indicator
Of virility

Two more weeks to go
In the colossal shit show
Franklin writhes below

Countless idiots
Scurry about the landscape
Chasing Pokemon

A psychic reading
Newports, Funyuns, and Lotto
Welfare check well spent

A huge pickup truck
Inversely proportional
To your intellect

Your brand new iPhone
Is about to become a
Suppository

Today's hottest hits!
Soulless aural saccharine
For the teeming proles

No grand ambition
No discernible talent
Might as well binge-watch

All your waking hours

Gaping at glowing gadgets

Creating nothing

Ten items or less
You have about thirty-five
Swipe your card again

Lowbrow bacchanal
Hoopla and hysteria
Stuff yourselves stupid

A diseased culture
Coughs up this lurid circus
And we devour it

Perpendicular
It means at ninety degrees
Like temperature?

Buffalo Wild Wings
Used to be Barnes and Noble
An apt metaphor