A psychic reading
Newports, Funyuns, and Lotto
Welfare check well spent

A huge pickup truck
Inversely proportional
To your intellect

Your brand new iPhone
Is about to become a
Suppository

Today's hottest hits!
Soulless aural saccharine
For the teeming proles

No grand ambition
No discernible talent
Might as well binge-watch